A Little Girls Prayer

"Daddy, im gonna leave everything to your hands.

Keep us all safe from getting hurt. Amen!"

QuestionS

When do you know if you have met the right one? How will you know? Are we supposed to accept everything about the person? Even if it is something against our believe? What if that was a past? Will the future be damaged? Does the past matter when you think you may have met the one? Should we stomach everything? Should i be regretting? Should i wish i was taught with stricter values? Is this Karma? It this a test? Why should i bother what he thinks? Is there a need to? What happens in the end? Who writes the ending? Who determines the happiest? Was there a reason to be attracted to each other? Who holds the magnet? Is what i am today because of what i have experience? Will there be a need to get judge? Can we amend the past for the future? What should i be feeling? What happens if you cant accept the fact? We cant deny that it feels so right either. Are we gonna pretend like it was never there? What is there in the first place? Do you feel the way i do? Can i be like Harry Potter and remove those memories? Will i ever hear that everything is going to be alright from you? Do you want to that too? Am i making a decision too fast? Its not like we're getting married or anything. Why should i think so far. Just play along? I cant even share my thoughts with gfs now because i dont even know what or how or where to begin. And im just as surprise that i dont even have to worry about how to phrase my questions the right way with you so you'll be able to understand me. You hold me when i need them most. Even when this concerns you, you still comfort me. Its a new feeling. You make me want to finally cry out everything that has been bottling up since forever. Its like i just want to share it out. How am i suppose to explain this feeling? Its just weird, yet beautiful. Arghh!! So many unanswered question. Where do i even begin?

Bitter Sweet

29 sept 2011

Some mini updates:

Well, first of all i must say i am very proud of myself & my actions. I guess i haven finally decided to let him go and move on with my life. It just fascinates me how i used to i could prolly get used to living with him. i could sacrifice everything know that i would not be able to get what i needed in return. I guess i was just be contented thou i wanted more. Because in life, not everything good happens to you or the way you imagine it to be. Every relationship teaches me many new learning points. Its all about moving on and getting immune to certain actions. But honestly, i dont want to lie or cover up some things which can no longer be replaced. Its just like living in self denial. These past weeks i made a strong decision. I stand on my word. I really did this time. I didnt reply nor, answer any form of contact he made. I only have one thing to say, i hope you live well and be happy. The decision lies in your hands. You made your decisions than. There is nothing to regret. Everything i did, i placed you first. But i guess there will never happen again. Cause you are no longer the most important person in my life.

I will always remember the good and reflect on what went wrong. Sadly, the pain can never be removed. But remember that i will never blame you for anything. I just hope you wont make your same mistake twice and treasure what you have now. Be contented. May you prosper in your business. Everything happens for a reason. Just be Happy! This will be my farewell to you J. :)

It meant a lot more than you imagine :)

Thank you for being there.
<3

Second Thoughts

"FOLLOW YOUR INTEREST" i was about to log in to 'Twitter' when that phrase kinda hit me. All these while i have been putting others interest before my own. Maybe for once, just once, i should be selfish and just do ONLY what i want. To stop worrying about the future and just be happy. To re-create the smile i once had. To be care free and have a positive mindset and a great guy who will be rooting for me along side with me. That we can achieve what is bless and right.

For the past twenty-two years, i have been living in denial. Wishing that life would just suddenly turn for the better. Especially, when everything takes self effort to be just at the right place at the right time. 'FATE' may be what some people will call it. But i would prefer to say, everything happens for a reason. I must say i have gone through many shity situations and some i am embarrassed to talk about. Sometimes i dont even want to remember them, cause mainly a lot of things were out of my control. I am mainly a victim. I really wish i could turn back the time or even wish i were never born. But as i reflect, i believe i was meant to go through all that. Yes, i may just be looking at things in a positive way. But who is to blame. No one. Things JUST happen with no explanation. I just hope my character as a person will mature and see things in a different light. Learn to humble down and not always think little of others. Everyone has their hard times.

A new change

Guess what, im finally installing all my software to beautify my baby(laptop). Been a long while since i touched my com. I guess i should handle my laptop with LOVE and install Anti-virus, and Backup it every so often. :)

My Media Monkey is up too :) The Most awesome software to edit music. Of course i have my photostudio for all my editing needs. :) Soon, i'll revamp my blog with visuals and updated frequently. Now that i have more time for myself and im actually putting myself first. So i'll try to visual my blog posts too.

Alright gotta go, just got a call from the groomers to pick up Sweetie. There goes my $70 bucks for grooming and de-ticking. Oh well, i love her so its worth to spend. Ciao! See ya laters!

Welcome to my World

It's only 11pm and mom is playing Kpop on her phone! Hahah. And I'm dancing to it. LOL!

Another week has passed by. 1 more to go till my braces will be up. And the ugly duckling becomes a swan. Hahaha! Went for my slimming session after I dunno how long. Just wanna finish the package. So it's more like a spa treatment to me. Since I don't really follow what they say. Lol.

I think I've been to stressed recently. Dropped 3kilos in less than a week. No good.. To fast already.. I'm hungry!! But I'm gonna have to stop eating midnight snacks! T.T for the sake of losing some weight! Jia you Glenys!!

That last email to him was the last. i know what i am suppose to do from now on. and i know what i want for my future. Friends of his, kindly keep you're comments to yourself if you do not know me. ONE, i do not have a motive for doing the things i do. TWO, get your facts right about what i was doing before speaking rubbish that makes me think you are a fool. THREE, if you claim you are a friend, be a friend.

just a quick update.

Hey guys,

yes my blog is still running and i know i haven been keeping it up to date. but i will someday.

Loads of things has been happening. And by the way, for those who do not know.. (since i haven blog in ages) im no longer attached. Single. :) So please note that change in my life. hahas! Planning to stay single as well. At least for now. One thing i learnt. NEVER TRUST THE BOYS, they always have lies hidden up their sleeves.

Yes, im working full time. Done with my studies for now. need the $$$ to survive first. Maybe later on in life i guess. Like they say, studying has no age limit. im gonna try to lose some kilos, put my braces and you know try for .... :) Those who knows what im saying. Yes, i'll try.. maybe 2yrs? i should be there.

And for those who lost contacts with me. Find me on FB or Twitter. Im quite active there. So Ya, make sure we dont lose contacts k!