It hurts to know what you have become. How desperate you have become to make things right. It hurts to know how you are torturing yourself. I wish i can comfort you and tell you everything will be alright. But i cant, cause this concerns me. For a year and a half, my love for you was real and unwavered. I wont say how you destroy it cause it is just to harsh of a word to use. I'm glad you have realised now what you want in life and you're doing everything to get it back. But there are just somethings when you lose it, you lose it for good. I'm touched by what you have done to fight for someone you have lost. That, is enough to let me know how much you have changed and how remorse you are. The anger and reprimanding of yourself. Please dont do that to yourself. Dont blame yourself k J. I do not hate you or anything. And i've already forgiven you long ago when you have realised what you really wanted. I'm glad you finally told me the truth, cos now my heart is rested knowing that you are truthful to yourself. Its just, its not going to change anything. All these while being together, i have never felt secured with you. I knew you would cheat. I knew something will happen. But i always wished your heart was stronger and not fall into temptations. Just that time after time, given so many chances, every disappointment just got deeper and deeper. I know you will say that you can make everything right from now on to give you a chance. But my heart no longer can do that. Honestly, meeting G opened my eyes to many things. I never imagine that i could find someone so comfortable and ideal. I always thought this only happens in fairytales and its too good to be true. But it is. And it is happening to me. And i am going to treasure that. Everything i've always prayed for since i was a little girl is coming forth. Even you, you have finally know what you want in Life too. I'm sorry, but its not going to be me. I really hope you'll stop torturing yourself and love yourself too. Thank you for the flowers, it is really pretty :) Thank you for the Soup, drink and the medicated rub. I really appreciate it. Even coming over to my office hoping to give me a lift. Thank you!
Take care of yourself for now alright. I would still love to have coffee/lunch/dinner with you someday. Just not anytime soon. Love yourself, and your family. Learn from your past and dont repeat it again. There is no easy way out in life. Remember that. Jiayou! with the business, may you have more contracts. Things are already getting better so JIAYOU! I'll always be rooting for you to succeed. :) Please dont do anything more for me, cause i cannot give you back anything other than friendship and no further than that. (but, not now once again). I really hope you'll wish me happiness be it who i am with. Be happy for me. Cause i really am now. Thank you J. *hugs!* Stop torturing yourself and be happy.